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where i cams from and what i am? could be, i am not nearly as diligent in my program as i once was. i was the type that did at least one meeting every day when i was starting this path. i also instantly took all of my sponsor‘s suggestions, called him every other day, did step work every night and was always available whenever the fellowship needed my services. was this a good thing? perhaps, looking back on it from the perspective of a bit of clean time, i can honestly say that the fellowship was all i had, so that flurry of recovery related activity was my entire life. recovery was my only priority, and my life was way out of balance, but balance in the life of this recovering addict is a topic for another day. yes i was totally immersed in the program and i came out of that phase of my recovery with a deep abiding sense of how important it is for me to consciously practice the spiritual principles of this program today. at eight and a half years clean i go to at least three meetings a week, pray evry morning and night, call my sponsor on a weekly basis, sit down and actually speak to him face to face about once a month, and i call another recovering addict every single day. i have yet to forget the misery of my life before recovery and as a result i take the time to make the effort to make recovery my first priority. the only difference between then and now is that recovery is no longer my ONLY priority, i have accumulated some responsibilities, some new relationships and some interests across the course of my recovery. so the task for me today is continuing to put my recovery and my spiritual growth ahead of all those other priorities by remembering how miserable i was when i got here. honestly i am not ready to ever be that full of shit and pain again, and fear of becoming like that man that walked into these rooms all those days ago, keeps me doing what i need to do -- RECOVER BY LIVING THE PROGRAM THAT GAVE ME THIS NEW LIFE --.
nothing more nor nothing less!

∞ DT ∞