Blog entry for:

the last thing i expected when i got clean and became a member was a group of people who **got** me. i may not have thought i was crazy, but i certainly knew i was not like most **normal** people. since i had learned, for the most part, to blend in and look like a member of society. i had three lives and the amount of energy i put into to make sure that the twain would never meet. one of the greatest ironies in my recovery that slightly over twenty years ago and addict called into the help line, talked to me and after a few ups and downs is celebrating a MAJOR clean date today:

Todd T
Congrats on 2 Decades CLEAN.

whatever i said that day, planted a seed and for the first time ever, i realized that i was not as “out there” i had come to believe. today, as i wait for my Dad to get out of surgery, i am doing my home group on my phone and writing this little ditty. i cannot get over the shame i feel for not being his advocate on Jan 1, when we went to Urgent Care. he has been getting around on a broken hip for three weeks and had i taken a bit more control at Urgent Care, he would have had this surgery done two weeks ago on Jan 3rd. what that means tor today and moving forward is that i will no longer count on getting the full story from anyone other than his care providers. i will advocate for him and allow him to make decisions, after i am sure he understands what he is being told.
so i want to be present for my friend Todd, as he shares his E.xperience, S.trength and H.ope. i am okay for right now and the challenges of the next few days, will be taken one at a time and if i NEED help, i will make that call.

∞ DT ∞