Blog entry for:
Mon, Jan 16, 2017 11:51:02 AM
➿ my fellow members ➿
posted: Mon, Jan 16, 2017 11:51:02 AM
do understand me and provide the insight i need to continue my recovery today. even so, i am slow to call, quiet at meetings and do my best to hide when i am feeling less than stellar from the very folks who can help me.
after a useless slide over to Boulder to see the perio, they cancelled all appointments today and called me at work, and moving the snow off of my concrete surfaces, i am back at this and ready to rock. first though, there are a few of my peers i need to congratulate about another trip around the sun clean:
back to reaching out to my peers, even when things are going good. i do have a habit of calling one addict in recovery, every single day, that started so long ago that my day feels weird, if i do not make that call. he was the one addict who happened to answer my call that fateful night when i thought of turning left and going to a liquor store instead of turning right to come on home. i was helping a friend die and that evening it felt too much to bare any longer. i was tired of feeling sad, pretending to be strong and showing up day after day, while he held on to life. that night, i just wanted to feel nothing and was considering the bliss a bottle of alcohol could bring me. he answered and i am not sure what if anything he said that night. after making the call, i did not feel any better but i was able to cope with my feelings and knew that i could go home and get on with my life in recovery, and with another day clean. i have more than likely written about that night more than once, but it was that experience that convinced me that i need to call an addict in recovery every single day,. just so i had practice when i really needed the voice of a peer to tell me, that using was not the best option for me.
this morning i have a few decisions to make and a letter or two to write. part of what i am today is compassionate and empathetic, and after participating in a FIFTH STEP yesterday, instead of watching football, i am all about exercising my recovery once again. today i think i can give another addict the support he is asking for, even though i do not think it will help. it is not that much different than my service efforts, i never know where the seed will land and take hold.
so after a quick application checkout and posting this little ditty. it is off to a smoke-filled room, to enjoy what i have been denied for the past seven days, a nice smoke and a day off. it is a good day to be clean and no i am not hiding in the weeds.
after a useless slide over to Boulder to see the perio, they cancelled all appointments today and called me at work, and moving the snow off of my concrete surfaces, i am back at this and ready to rock. first though, there are a few of my peers i need to congratulate about another trip around the sun clean:
Todd T,
16 years of doing it just for today.
Congrats my friend and keep coming back.
Tracy D,
4 years clean!
Congrats and keep coming back.
back to reaching out to my peers, even when things are going good. i do have a habit of calling one addict in recovery, every single day, that started so long ago that my day feels weird, if i do not make that call. he was the one addict who happened to answer my call that fateful night when i thought of turning left and going to a liquor store instead of turning right to come on home. i was helping a friend die and that evening it felt too much to bare any longer. i was tired of feeling sad, pretending to be strong and showing up day after day, while he held on to life. that night, i just wanted to feel nothing and was considering the bliss a bottle of alcohol could bring me. he answered and i am not sure what if anything he said that night. after making the call, i did not feel any better but i was able to cope with my feelings and knew that i could go home and get on with my life in recovery, and with another day clean. i have more than likely written about that night more than once, but it was that experience that convinced me that i need to call an addict in recovery every single day,. just so i had practice when i really needed the voice of a peer to tell me, that using was not the best option for me.
this morning i have a few decisions to make and a letter or two to write. part of what i am today is compassionate and empathetic, and after participating in a FIFTH STEP yesterday, instead of watching football, i am all about exercising my recovery once again. today i think i can give another addict the support he is asking for, even though i do not think it will help. it is not that much different than my service efforts, i never know where the seed will land and take hold.
so after a quick application checkout and posting this little ditty. it is off to a smoke-filled room, to enjoy what i have been denied for the past seven days, a nice smoke and a day off. it is a good day to be clean and no i am not hiding in the weeds.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ F*ck Everything And Run ∞ 509 words ➥ Monday, January 16, 2006 by: donnot↔ if i isolate myself from my fellow members, i deprive them of something they need, ↔ 290 words ➥ Tuesday, January 16, 2007 by: donnot
μ i need my fellow members: their experience, their friendship, their laughter, their guidance, and much, much more. μ 389 words ➥ Wednesday, January 16, 2008 by: donnot
↔ i need the members of this fellowship. however, sometimes … 470 words ➥ Friday, January 16, 2009 by: donnot
Φ i forget that my fellow members are just like me Φ 497 words ➥ Saturday, January 16, 2010 by: donnot
∉ i feared that if i ever revealed myself as as i am ∉ 661 words ➥ Sunday, January 16, 2011 by: donnot
¢ i can also forget that, just as i need others, they need me ¢ 346 words ➥ Monday, January 16, 2012 by: donnot
♦ here in recovery, i am among friends and peers ♦ 561 words ➥ Wednesday, January 16, 2013 by: donnot
¿ what waits at the other end of the telephone ? 729 words ➥ Thursday, January 16, 2014 by: donnot
& make that call ! 480 words ➥ Friday, January 16, 2015 by: donnot
✆ i would surely ✉ 491 words ➥ Saturday, January 16, 2016 by: donnot
📞 i do not 🎙 544 words ➥ Tuesday, January 16, 2018 by: donnot
🌧 i am 🌤 466 words ➥ Wednesday, January 16, 2019 by: donnot
🖁 i get experience, 🕿 458 words ➥ Thursday, January 16, 2020 by: donnot
😰 understanding me 😰 355 words ➥ Saturday, January 16, 2021 by: donnot
😶 learning to 😷 430 words ➥ Sunday, January 16, 2022 by: donnot
😡 just like me 😀 508 words ➥ Monday, January 16, 2023 by: donnot
🌨 finding my 🌨 509 words ➥ Tuesday, January 16, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) The (state of) vacancy should be brought to the utmost degree,
and that of stillness guarded with unwearying vigour. All things alike
go through their processes of activity, and (then) we see them return
(to their original state). When things (in the vegetable world) have
displayed their luxuriant growth, we see each of them return to its
root. This returning to their root is what we call the state of stillness;
and that stillness may be called a reporting that they have fulfilled
their appointed end.