Blog entry for:

with what is, may not seem to be that much of a daunting task. at times, however, especially recently, it feels nearly impossible to accomplish. this morning, the day after my Dad's funeral, there is a sense of relief mixed with sadness. i still have a task or three to get done, but i have two days off to decompress and get that stuff done. as i implement the living amends to him and his memory, i still feel that there is more i can do. the question comes down to how does one care for someone else, without enabling them to sink into their recliner and withdraw from the world? as i tread that boundary, setting and resetting it as required, i keep going down the path of “what ifs.” it is here that i need to stop and listen for the voice of the POWER that fuels my recovery, to determine the next right thing to do. i have already caught them in the process of surrendering a task that is within their power to accomplish and had to call them out on it.
the “what is” here is to be present, give it my best effort and to step back and accept that probably are clueless about what they are in the midst of trying to deconstruct. i may not be the broken one in that relationship, but i have a full life, outside my home and will continue to build that life. i will be taking off for hiking adventures and some time away with my wife and will not worry about whether or not they approve. at sixty-four years of age, it is about time for me to grow up and be my own person.
so today, after getting my workout in the books, cleaning up the work failures and getting this committed to the web, i can do whatever it is that i desire to do. i am thinking that it is cigars and gaming on the back porch. i will see if that plan can become a reality and go from there. it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞