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makes a difference? although this was a statement of fact in my source material this morning, i, in my own perverse manner, needed to make it a question. after all, does being willing to do something, at least for me, does not always translate into the action i may be willing to do. some of the time, i even do stuff when i am not all that willing, such as keeping the doors to my home group open. i have ducked my responsibility more than once, justifying that behavior by thinking that it was someone else's turn, as i had done it for years upon years. BUT, when all is said and done, even the modicum of willingness i have in this situation does make a difference as we had a FNG show up for our meeting this morning. i do not know if he will come back, but at least the doors were open for him to actually walk into a meeting and be welcomed by our group.
today, because i was willing to open the doors, i heard something i had never heard before, specifically the four horseman of my addiction apocalypse: justification, rationalization, minimization and blame. dang it all, i can find examples of all those in my daily life. i may be doing my best to live a program of active recovery, that does not mean i am no longer an addict, even after a minute or so clean. the one part of being willing for me, that is part of my daily life, is doing whatever i need to do, to stay clean just for today, even when i think that it may be too much work. i can certainly see that willingness does lead to making a difference for those with whom i share my life. when i am not creating chaos and running amok, the damage i have the ability to inflict, is severely limited, which certainly makes a difference.
i think i have run out of stuff to say and the question i asked to get this little exercise started, whether or not my willingness can make a difference has to be answered with a resounding YES, it can! 🥳 just for today, i will exercise my willingness and make a difference in my own life as well as those around me, just because it feels like the next correct thing to do.

∞ DT ∞