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actions are necessary, as a result of living in the here and now. that means i learn from my past and plan for the future, but do my best not to dwell in either of those houses of pain. what that may mean for me anyhow, is that i make my best guess as what may be coming down the pike at me, based on my experience and make a plan that just may deal with what i may see coming. that does not mean i am not often surprised about life on its own terms, but i do not live in FEAR of that uncertain future, planning, plotting and fretting over every single possible outcome. it does bring up a few interesting questions, though, as how do i guide the men who call me their sponsor to finding their own answers?
i feel that it is my job as someone who sponsors others, to allow them the freedom to uncover, discover and formulate their own answers to their most pressing issues. with some of the men, that is an easy task as they are either open-minded to what i may present or they are so scared of relapse that they will do anything i suggest. i prefer the former to the latter, but i can work either case, as the path is clearly laid out for me. the place where i run into trouble is with those men who have their beliefs written in stone and defend them with extreme prejudice. it is not my job to disabuse them of their belief structure but for me to understand what is at the core, so i can weak with them into discovery, instead of pounding them into compliance. i have has sponsors who fell into both camps and even though those men were exactly what i needed at the time, i find the pound into compliance paradigm no longer fits who i am and am grateful my current sponsor is not a practitioner of that method. as a result of meeting with one of the men who calls me his sponsor, i am reading the source material, to see if i can capture the essence of his beliefs and this morning, i had a huge FAIL.
well, at least i could not extract out how he sees it, on my first try, that does not mean i am giving up, as in this case i am seeking to understand and not at all concerned about being understood. i am also not going to walk away from being his sponsor if i cannot grok what he is talking about, i will ask to be educated instead. on day one of any spiritual journey, i seldom arrive at where i think i might be going. i may have used the word FAIL and even meant it, as i could not find what i was looking for in the place i was told i could find it. the lesson i take from what i did not find, is to try again tomorrow and be more open to the ideas being expressed on the page, rather than relying on what i may think i know. just for today, i am okay with having a conundrum to resolve over the course of the next few weeks.

∞ DT ∞