Blog entry for:

using was taking on me. i am trying out my tablet as my main vein blog writing machine today and it is going to take some getting used to. it is nice that i have the ways and means to post this stuff, when i am in Greece, but i would prefer to take my laptop, which is not something i really want to do. anyhow, enough musing about what may come.
i was not one of those for whom using was not “working” for, when i came to the rooms. i was also not one of those who appear to be “struck” clean. in fact the last thing i desired was a new manner of living. all i wanted was freedom from the 20th judicial district and i got that fairly early on, just after i finally accepted who i was and where i really wanted to go. the secret contempt i held for recovery and my peers in recovery was revealed as i became a member and the shitshow of my life was revealed to all. my secrets, at least this part of them became public knowledge and i was sunk. that deflation was the opening i needed to finally get a program of recovery and although i regretted it, way back when, i am grateful for it today.
i still have lots to do, so it is off to the errands before i start packing. my less than big secret i am willing to share today? i really dread going back to  my job for those final four days. i am looking forward to 12 days away from that grind and yes technology in general. i will be carrying just enough tech with me to get myself in trouble, just for today.

∞ DT ∞