๐จ fear, isolation, ๐ฉ
Posted: Tue, Aug 17, 2021 09:31:22 AM
and dishonesty have kept me **stuck** for far too long, if i am being honest here, as the reading suggests, i can say that over the past fifteen months. those have been some of the major themes in my life. i am weary of being in that place and the past four weeks have felt as if a HUGE weight has been lifted from me. i have a new job, a “dream job”, that starts on Monday. i GOT to cruise the Aegean Sea and visit some Greek Islands and all of what i need to accomplish to close down my current gig, is completed. oh yeah, i got to attend one of my favorite meetings, live and in person. all of that is wonderful, but what really is great, is the sense of balance that is returning to my life. it may be true that i was unable to fall asleep last night, but another day or two in the Mountain time zone, should take care of that as well.
what came out of my TENTH STEP last night, was to take the risk and invite my Mom in to see my FaceBook page. my FEAR of what she may discover about the rest of my life, has finally been put to rest and if things get out of hand, i can always remove her from my “friends” list, with just a click or two. i have a bunch of anxiety over the new job, as i have been out of the dev game for far too long and my concern is that i will not be able to come up to speed, quick enough to satisfy my new team. although i may feel anxious, i am certain that IF i apply myself i will be able to meet their expectations. the fact that i can own being anxious about that, is certainly a step towards becoming ready to do what it takes.
anyhow, i have some training to do and a quick walk with the dawg, as she has spent the past weeks at the pet spa and needs a bit more attention,. so she will stop sulking. it is a good day to be honest and to be clean.
what came out of my TENTH STEP last night, was to take the risk and invite my Mom in to see my FaceBook page. my FEAR of what she may discover about the rest of my life, has finally been put to rest and if things get out of hand, i can always remove her from my “friends” list, with just a click or two. i have a bunch of anxiety over the new job, as i have been out of the dev game for far too long and my concern is that i will not be able to come up to speed, quick enough to satisfy my new team. although i may feel anxious, i am certain that IF i apply myself i will be able to meet their expectations. the fact that i can own being anxious about that, is certainly a step towards becoming ready to do what it takes.
anyhow, i have some training to do and a quick walk with the dawg, as she has spent the past weeks at the pet spa and needs a bit more attention,. so she will stop sulking. it is a good day to be honest and to be clean.
∞ DT ∞