Blog entry for:

certainly describes addition to a **T.** the odd part of my journey, is that generally this is the time of year when i would be totally insane, as my clean date anniversary approaches. it is quite a gift to feel more balanced and serene than i generally am. i credit the explosion of the BIG LIE and the myriad of little ones that have defined me for so long, for giving me FREEDOM from this temporary insanity, just for today. it is quite true that my meeting attendance has been lacking and i am taking steps to bring myself back into what i feel is “normal” for me. what is not lacking is my daily program and as i prepare to transition from on e job to another, i can see that my routine will be severely altered, which is not a bad thing. i like a bit of variety, even a bit of chaos. the past few months have been more than chaotic for me and i am ready to settle into a new routine and find a different groove.
this morning, after a tough night for our dawg and being denied a dental appointment due to my trip to Greece, i am okay, when i think that i “should” be all over the map. in fact, the my expected feelings, have not materialized, rolling with the changes seems to have become my daily theme. i just may end up at the emergency clinic after 10 AM this morning, as i am not about to let Daisy, suffer another night without a vet talking a look at her and diagnosing what is going on. i will need to pound out some more steps as my workout this morning was for her and not for me.
coming back to the reading this morning, it always amazes me when my peers say stuff about how impressed they are, that i continue to come to meetings. the fact is, now that the meetings are coming back to life, i have the DESIRE to show up and hear what i can hear from my peers. they are my inspiration and the source of wisdom about how to do this life thing. they supported me when i was the still-suffering addict and that, in and of itself is more than enough to keep me coming back. just for today, i will celebrate the fact that i have some place to go, where there are peeps that understand how addiction affects my life and can provide me the solution to what living life clean entails.

∞ DT ∞