Blog entry for:

for growth?, no exactly what i would call it, but maybe, just maybe, being unemployed is really just that. now that i have completed my second week of forced time off from work, i may actually be beginning to see that i do have an opportunity to grow in several aspects of my life. as i am seeing very little progress in any of the aspects of my life, other than me learning to be okay with hearing, “not yet,” i am getting a bit frustrated. ironically, when i mentioned to someone else that they certainly had the ability to order something for themselves and have it delivered to their home, i got the a familiar answer, “i know!” i know that i am doing all that i can to secure a job and get money flowing intro my bank accounts again. the fraudulent unemployment claim that someone tried to file last year, has finally been closed, so perhaps this week, i can get my unemployment benefits rolling into my bank account. the recruiter for the job prospect i aced last week, has finally started to get working on the next round of interviews for me. i have been out of the house, each and every day, and have been working on getting my skills sharpened up and have not missed a day of working out. i am doing all i can to get myself and keep myself in shape, and yet,. there is a huge part of me, that just wants to stop, breathe and fVck everything off, for a day or three. which might not be a bad idea.
to those ends, i am probably going to do nothing but watch football for the next two days. well, not quite nothing. i am going to take care of my physical and spiritual needs and leave my career stuff on the table, before too much more retail therapy kicks in. this morning, i skipped my workout, because i was lazy and did not want to deal with the cold. when i get back from my home group, i certainly will have the time, energy and the motivation to get some miles under my belt, before the game starts. i “know” that i need a bit of FAITH and that there is an opportunity waiting for me out there. i “know” that i have to keep respo0nding to the recruiters, in order to find that opportunity. i know that the government, state and federal, move at their own pace and Medicare and unemployment will be started when their process finally pops me off their stack. what i am hearing is have FAITH as “not yet” may feel like a NO, but is not one. i can walk in a bit of FAITH today and allow the world to spin as it will, just for today.

∞ DT ∞