Blog entry for:

even when i am learning from those on the margins and way out in left field, i am still learning. yes, there are some in my recovery circle, who certainly are on the margins, for whatever reason, and it seems that i learn the most form them these days. their personal recovery programs, a mash-up of different fellowships, philosophies, and belief systems, provide me one the best sources for looking at what is and is not working in my very conservative and by the book personal program of recovery. in the end, what i am repeatedly finding, is that the further i stray from what has been proven, the further i stray from the welcoming arms of the fellowship. the more i try to customize my program, the less connected i feel, and it seems this time around getting connected socially, with the world around me, is what the steps seem to be doing. it is true, that i do wear a pearl, because an astrologer told me that i had to much fire in my central core. i cannot and will not rationalize that away. does it help me? i do not know, but i am not very apt to stop wearing it today, as it has become symbolic of my spiritual journey in many ways.
my personal program of recovery, does not fall into that kind of category. for me, what has worked, and what i am continuing to learn, is that “by the book,” works. a case in point, my employment situation is tenuous at best, and yet the stress i should be feeling, has not manifest itself, i am going in today, and putting in my request for time off in March, to demonstrate that i intend to stick around, if they choose to keep me on. that does not mean i have stopped looking for an exit strategy.i will be updating my resumé this afternoon and allowing the world to spin as it will. i intend to go into work, do what is in my ticket queue and do what is expected of me today. i also intend to reach out to my recovery network and let them know what is going on with me, because that is where i can learn how best to walk forward through these uncertain times. i have been told, that i do have a position and i am going on FAITH, that this change will improve me in the long run.
i do, however, have to get rolling on over there, after all, just for today, i do have a job to do.

∞ DT ∞