Some memes

is key! key to what, however, is certainly a germane question. this is not the first time i have heard this phrase in my recovery. in fact the very first convention committee i served on, used it as the theme. ironically, the logo of that convention, included a very complicated Celtic knot border. so it goes and it is an apt metaphor for the manner in which i view recovery, from time to time. i tell the men who call me their sponsor that this stuff is simple and not to over-complicate things, by thinking to deeply about what is being asked of you. of course, then i go and way over-think that bit of recovery that happens to be part of this day, in the here and now, berating myself for not “getting” it. a simple fact of my life is that i never seem to believe that this gig, can be that simple. look at how i struggled to get where i am and when i do so, i see that if i had let go and allowed the process to carry me here, i could have arrived with a whole lot less effort. i have been and perhaps always will be my own worst enemy when it comes to living a simple but thorough program of recovery.
as i move into today, i know that there really is an simpler manner in which to live a program of recovery. that does not mean i stop what i have been doing, as i have integrated a daily maintenance program into my routine. it does mean, however, when i fond myself going down a rabbit hole, pursuing some sort of smoke and mirrors, i can stop, take a look around and evaluate whether or not i am over-complicating something. if i am frustrated with my behaviors, chance are i am doing just that, over-complicating shit by assigning motives to what i may be doing, or seeking out what i may be lacking. it is a fact, pure and simple, that i have been clean for a minute and actually have accepted a manner of living that goes against all that i once knew. it is also a fact that the habits of twenty five years of active addiction, die hard. when in the course of my daily journey, i arrive at a crossroads between falling back on what was familiar or moving forward through what appears to be difficult, i can remember that the simplest way, is usually the best, even if it is not the easier softer path. if i do not have to cover-up, rationalize or lie my way out of something, i have taken the simpler path, just for today.

∞ DT ∞