ฮผ when i am tempted to compare myself to these seemingly more affluent members, ฮผ
Posted: Mon, Jul 31, 2006 06:42:04 AM
it is good to remember why i came to the rooms of this fellowship. and it was not to get a shiny new car, a beautiful wife and more money than i could ever spend.
although....
.... all of those things are nice and worth the effort to achieve them. but the sign of recovery in my life is the fulfillment of the single promise that was made to me when i was finally ready to recover in the fellowship that gave me this new life -- that is the freedom from active addiction, nothing more, nothing less. that simple, yet powerful promise, had its subtle hooks in me long before i decided to get recovery exclusively in this fellowship. in fact the first time i heard it i laughed out loud, after all the fellowship i thought i belonged in had twelve promises and a very "LARGE TOME" with all sorts of implied promises hidden between the lines. the part of those promises that i did not get was that they were conditional on working the first nine steps. freedom from active addiction has only one condition, that i work the program to the best of my ability day by day. a simpler promise with a much lower threshold to cross, what‘s not to love?
and best of all i do not have to strain for examples that this promise has come true in my life. i have not had the desire to use since i got out of bed, granted that has not been very long, nor did i have the desire to use yesterday -- in fact i would have to work pretty damn hard to remember the last time i had the desire to use. so lacking the desire to use is definitely one of the symptoms of freedom from active addiction for me anyhow. the fact that i have not used since september tenth, nineteen ninety-seven is the symptom of freedom that i share with all of the members of the fellowship that gave me this brand new life -- shiny new car, college degree, beautiful home, loving girlfriend and a job that i love! what more could an addict ask for, why everything of course after all it is all about me, and i can never get enough!
although....
.... all of those things are nice and worth the effort to achieve them. but the sign of recovery in my life is the fulfillment of the single promise that was made to me when i was finally ready to recover in the fellowship that gave me this new life -- that is the freedom from active addiction, nothing more, nothing less. that simple, yet powerful promise, had its subtle hooks in me long before i decided to get recovery exclusively in this fellowship. in fact the first time i heard it i laughed out loud, after all the fellowship i thought i belonged in had twelve promises and a very "LARGE TOME" with all sorts of implied promises hidden between the lines. the part of those promises that i did not get was that they were conditional on working the first nine steps. freedom from active addiction has only one condition, that i work the program to the best of my ability day by day. a simpler promise with a much lower threshold to cross, what‘s not to love?
and best of all i do not have to strain for examples that this promise has come true in my life. i have not had the desire to use since i got out of bed, granted that has not been very long, nor did i have the desire to use yesterday -- in fact i would have to work pretty damn hard to remember the last time i had the desire to use. so lacking the desire to use is definitely one of the symptoms of freedom from active addiction for me anyhow. the fact that i have not used since september tenth, nineteen ninety-seven is the symptom of freedom that i share with all of the members of the fellowship that gave me this brand new life -- shiny new car, college degree, beautiful home, loving girlfriend and a job that i love! what more could an addict ask for, why everything of course after all it is all about me, and i can never get enough!
∞ DT ∞