Blog entry for:

both willing and humble, and no this i am not going to dive into quotes and paraphrases from a Danish prince, as there is nothing afoot in my world today. last night, as i did my daily inventory, i realized that i could have been a bit more present for the mess one of the men who call me their sponsor shared with me. i offered up solutions, so i was half-way there, but i did not let him know that i actually heard what he was saying and ask him if there was anything i could do, to relieve his suffering, even though i knew there was not. he continues to surprise with his honesty about what is going on and his willingness to see that seeking a diagnosis may just be the ways and means to disqualify himself from recovery. perhaps this relationship is not doomed after all.
of course, when i am focused on someone else and not myself, i miss the big picture,m which is i have not responded to the call i got from my Mom the other night. what i am feeling is a bit of confusion about why i am reluctant to respond. i would txt her, but i know she is not able to read txts anymore and probably has not asked for help to turn on the voice assistant on her phone, that could and would read her txts out loud. which is illustrative of what i gathered form my source material this morning: there are many things that i lack the skills to do and to pretend that i do not and struggle with a task that is better left to someone who is trained to do so, is an exercise in futility and self-sufficiency. i do need to give her a call today and set my terms and conditions for showing up at her house. perhaps i will put the notion in her head that she can use her phone without having to clearly see it, but that is an issue i will leave by the wayside for now.
i do, however, have a deadline to meet and i do need to get my six or so miles done. today i am willing to go where i need to go, to keep my job, my physical fitness and my ability to live in a manner that is in accordance to the spiritual principles i espouse. without much ado, i am grateful that this program of recovery has led me to a manner of living where i no longer have to live by default, letting the chips fall where they will. oh sure, those chips will still fall where they will, but i get to influence them bu remember i had a choice today and when i saw it, decided to make it. these days, i see my life as too short to sit by and let the world move along without me. i may not take any world shaking actions today, but i will make ALL the choices that come my way, thanks to the POWER that fuels my recovery.

∞ DT ∞