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i am going that counts and these days, i know i am going and growing into the identity i hid and suppressed for decades on end. living in the freedom from the lie that defined me, does open all sorts of new doors for me. as learn to live in this new skin, as it were, i can be more open and look forward to the day that i know who i am and what i am all about. until that day arrives, and it may never get here, i will work with what i have and take what bubbles up from the under-toad.
after my past two days at being less than stellar at setting up my new workstation, i feel okay this morning. i could but i will not. after the visit with the oncologist yesterday, i see that not seeking any further treatment for my prostate cancer, is probably the best course of action right now, unless something goes wild.
i am not feeling like getting in the work groove this morning. i get it, that happens to the best of all of us. i do know that the price i will pay is a guilty conscience and more than a bit of regret at not being diligent about what i have to accomplish. instead of living in regret, i will test my work and move along to my next task. i have a goal of getting at least three tickets done for the next sprint, and one is in testing now. yesterday, i was distracted with banging my head against the wall, today i am freed from that and attempting to get real on this little exercise. time to totter off to work and get some stuff done, and yes, i have no regrets about being less than bright the past two days, there are just days that are like that.

∞ DT ∞