Blog entry for:

not faking it, not pretending to be superhuman, but simply doing the footwork of recovery. as i sit here and think about how i feel today, there is a tinge of irony and a bit of sadness. eight years ago today, a friend and sponsee decided that his pain was too great to carry on. no matter how certain i am, that there was no more that i could have done to dissuade him from his decision and ultimate action, there is still remorse and regret, when i think about him. whether or not anyone else in the local fellowship still honors his memory or not, is not my stuff. my stuff is to remember him in the best light and rejoice in the time i had with him, even when it was not all that good. Brian taught me to listen and not give solutions, until he asked for them. did i miss the signs that he was in pain, nope. did i miss the signs that his pain was unbearable, maybe.
it may be true, that everything i need to learn about doing this recovery gig, was given to me in my first thirty days in recovery, even if i was too dense to hear what my peers were trying to tell me. along my recovery journey, i found a few more things to add to my daily routine, but first and foremost is making a decision on a daily basis to stay clean today and asking for the power to do so. all that follows is an outgrowth of that initial decision. i may not go to a meeting every day, but i hardly ever miss my home group. i do, however, take a daily inventory and take the time each and every morning to let go and listen to the void. those two actions, seem to drive my recovery these days, and i am grateful i stuck around long enough to make this a practical program for me, myself and i, just for today.

∞ DT ∞