Blog entry for:

is a difficult task, but one that is not beyond my reach. as i sit here this morning, trying to come up with an especially pithy and sage response to the reading. i catch myself once wondering if i am trying to look good. i started this little blog as an exercise in programming. i never intended to go on as long or with as much consistency as i have. this morning that sets off quite a cascade of thoughts and feelings. am i really listening to what is in my heart? have i gone beyond the parameters of what this exercise has become? am i revealing too much to the world in general. and on and on and on, spinning about something that feels good, and is probably good for me. i need not answer any of those questions as they are more than likely rhetorical, with answers that depend on what i happen to be feeling at the time. what is important is that at least i am listening to myself. learning to be present for what is going on in my life and my head and doing my best to move into the task suggested by the reading this morning -- learning to REALLY LISTEN to others.
for me, this is one of those tasks that swings to extremes, when i look at me behaviors. i can and have beat myself up for being so self-absorbed that i missed what was being said in its entirety. when that happens out comes the baseball bat and the abuse of myself starts. at other times, i am listening so intently to what is being said that i miss my own feelings and reactions and do something that is not necessarily good for me. rarely, although it does happen, do i approach the real task, listening, feeling and being appropriately responsive. striving for that ‘gold standard’ is what i am about this morning. my response starts off with a touch of HOPE about how achievement this is not beyond my ability to learn and adapt into my life. the trick for mew, is to be present in real-time with what i am doing, what i am thinking and what is really going on around me. learning to listen, is a task i can undertake today and tomorrow and the day after and on and on, if i allow it.
what is happening right now? well i hear the machinery in the basement calling out my name, telling me it is time to move from mental to physical exercise. so on that note, i do believe i will work off the ice cream i just had to have while vegging in front of the TV last night. you know what, even that activity is not a bad thing for me to do! so until the next time, probably tomorrow, i decide to write, it is a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞