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stable, sure, but is it still getting better? this is a question i ask myself, time and again, especially when i feel stuck or out of sorts. it pairs perfectly with its complement: is this recovery gig, worth it? which arises when i get in a tough spot where a character defect or less than stellar behavior appears to be an easy way out. right here and right now, i can say my life is still getting better and this gig is paying off. i may not get the dream job i may get offered, but the cable guy pays the bills. i may not have the sort of bank accounts that many of my friends have, but i am doing more than getting by. i am whole, learning to be genuine and certainly more self-aware and it had been weeks since i flipped anyone off in traffic, perhaps even months, but that ended yesterday. all in all, i am certainly better in every sense, so if i am better, my life is better as an extension of how i am doing.
i get persevering, as today i was capable of running 5.6 miles. one year ago, i could barely walk around the block. i was ignorant, as i should have gone back to PT, but i thought i “knew” what they would say and just did the exercises they had already assigned. i persevered and i may not reach my goal of eight minute and fifty second miles for the Bolder Boulder in May, BUT i am going to train as suggested and see what the results may be.
not a whole lot more shaking. i did get one sponsee starting STEP ONE and another one off his ass and out for dinner yesterday. i found a new cigar to break things up a bit, that i decimated on my drive home from Wyoming last night. the jeans i am wearing fit a bit looser than they did a month ago. it appears that all is right in my world, in the here and now. all i have to do, is keep doing the needful and let the results come as they may, just for today.

∞ DT ∞