Some memes

to ensure that every addict who shows up has access to a message of recovery, no matter who they are or what they have done or perhaps will do. i could say this is one of things that i do automagically, without any exception, one hundred percent of the time. of course that is not the case. i could go the opposite direction and self-denigrate and live in false humility. yes i fall somewhere between always and never. learning to tolerate, accept and yes love everyone who comes to the rooms, no matter what, has taken a very long minute and i certainly still have a ways to go. what i really do not get, is how the rest of my peers seem to like and respect someone, when i cannot do so. it is true, i have more information about what they did or who they are. all of that is in our shared past and yet, i cannot seem to get past it, no matter how hard i try to do so. i am hoping that when i finally write my imminent THIRD STEP, i find the way to decide to let that shit go, at last!
today, in the here and now, i am okay in my skin and have found very little with which to flog myself. i am finally getting a clue, that is i linger doing nothing in the morning, there is nothing wrong with me. as i sit here, writing this exercise, listening to one of the dumbest sitcoms ever broadcast on TV, because another old guy has nothing better to do than watch reruns on TV, as he smokes a cigar, i am grateful that i am not trapped in that sot of world. i have fallen into the AI trap and that is probably not that much better. there is a justification coming up: i am exercising my imagination and creativity, as i wile away the hours. 🤪 these days of idle ChatGPT are coming to an end and i am grateful i had the time and desire to try something out, that i was clueless about six weeks ago. my life in retirement is more than mindless sitcoms and old movies. i have added a meeting to my routine and have time to take a friend to his procedure on Friday. i also have had the time to take care of a few things around my home, as well. my life in retirement may not be as “full” as when i was working full time, but i am truly enjoying the fuck out of it. 🥰
even though i got a job starting soon, it is time to do my job search and move on with my day. each and every time i do that footwork, i boost my self-esteem, as i am advocating for myself and treating myself as someone who is worthy of the effort to keep looking. knowing that, i have the opportunity not to fall into a TV trap and spend my days letting Hollywood do my thinking for me.

∞ DT ∞