๐ฑ for someone ๐ฑ
Posted: Mon, Nov 24, 2025 10:36:47 AM
like me, who is prone to be self-centered, it is a great relief to put my own wants, needs, and feelings on the back burner long enough to concern myself with how others feel. no i am not having any sort of Kum-By-Yah moment or turning into an alt version of myself, BUT, i do have the ways and means to seek a better path towards a more rounded version of myself. the simple fact of the matter is, yes i do care about the feelings of others and yes i am still prone to being a self-centered asshole. as i “marinate” in my THIRD STEP, i keep asking for the POWER that fuels my recovery to remove my obsession with my super secret list of expectations about how i should behave as well as how others should walk through their lives as well. i am not sure how well that process is going but i am, at the minimum, paying better attention to the way i treat others.
this morning i has my semi-annual visit to my Oncologist and got a clean bill of health as well as a compliment or two about how well i appeared to be taking care of myself. i know that running and playing with AI every day may not stave off old age, but one gift recovery has given me, is the desire to live well, until i lack the ability to do so. i have seen so may others “fade into obscurity” because of the choices they made, my Mom was certainly a great example of that. after having an “incident” on a return trip from vacation, she gave up and withing four years of coming home and sitting in her chair, she just lost the will to live. even when she had the chance to stop her decline, she made the choice to take the softer and easier way out. i am not that person and i may end up in a chair unable to take care of myself or live life, BUT i am not going to go down that path willingly. 😣
anyhow, as i get to the end of this exercise, i certainly do remember being welcomed when i walked into the rooms, even though i wanted to be dismissed with extreme prejudice. without a doubt, the fact that those in the rooms kept welcoming me and telling me to keep coming back, planted the seed that eventually grew into full-blown recovery. i may not have been grateful in real-time, way back when, but today, as i sit here enjoying a cigar, i certainly am feeling the gratitude of someone who has been given a new lease on life, just for today.
this morning i has my semi-annual visit to my Oncologist and got a clean bill of health as well as a compliment or two about how well i appeared to be taking care of myself. i know that running and playing with AI every day may not stave off old age, but one gift recovery has given me, is the desire to live well, until i lack the ability to do so. i have seen so may others “fade into obscurity” because of the choices they made, my Mom was certainly a great example of that. after having an “incident” on a return trip from vacation, she gave up and withing four years of coming home and sitting in her chair, she just lost the will to live. even when she had the chance to stop her decline, she made the choice to take the softer and easier way out. i am not that person and i may end up in a chair unable to take care of myself or live life, BUT i am not going to go down that path willingly. 😣
anyhow, as i get to the end of this exercise, i certainly do remember being welcomed when i walked into the rooms, even though i wanted to be dismissed with extreme prejudice. without a doubt, the fact that those in the rooms kept welcoming me and telling me to keep coming back, planted the seed that eventually grew into full-blown recovery. i may not have been grateful in real-time, way back when, but today, as i sit here enjoying a cigar, i certainly am feeling the gratitude of someone who has been given a new lease on life, just for today.
∞ DT ∞