Some memes

not facts, but it is a fact that i feel. there is a whole shit-ton of opinions around the fellowship about feelings and their place in recovery. i can honestly say that i believe that feelings just are and really not any big deal. i feel this and that and most of the time, i get to choose how to respond to those feelings. if i choose not to act on a feeling, it does not mean i am suppressing that feeling, contrary to the either or conditions that were presented in the reading this morning. i feel anger, that does not mean i have to lash out in anger at the object or person of my ire. i acknowledge my anger, i take a breath and decide whether this is the hill on which i want to die on. most of the time it is a trivial thing that sets me off, or even worse, displaced feelings that come out in anger, just like in the bad old days. i know all about suppressing feelings and the consequences of doing so, done that, been there, got the T-shirt.
as i prepare to step out for and afternoon off, i am feeling a bit tired, as i had a poor night's sleep last night because the dawg was in intestinal distress. what the means in reality is that i need to consider carefully my actions when i have a feeling, as i know i will have a hair trigger and be way too self-righteous and judgemental. it is what it is and today, i have a small AI project in mind, i am looking forward to a cigar or two, some football and another day clean. right here and right now i will remember that no feeling is “bad” and all that i feel is valid, just for today.

∞ DT ∞