Blog entry for:

the members spoke of the spiritual principles that had pointed the way for them to this new life of recovery.
skeptical, intolerant, and indifferent are great descriptive terms for how i was when i came to recovery. i still suffer from these particular defects BUT i am much more open-minded than i was and i am becoming more accepting of the practical application of spiritual principles in my life. WHY? well i have discovered that for me this way of living requires following a spiritual program. yes i have gotten better, and yes i have HOPE that i can get better if i continue down this path.
accepting a new way of living was not any idea that i warmed to right off the bat. yes i wanted the peace of mind and the ease of living that i saw in the way the members who were already here had. and yes i was afraid that the way i was living my life was not very healthy or self-sustaining. giving up my oh so familiar pain for the crap shoot of recovery was something i was barely willing to do. i still am envious of those members who arrive in the program certain that they are ready for the paradigm shift that living in recovery entails. me, i still question, scratch and claw and hold on to what i think i already know, until the pain gets too great to handle.
so what does the reading bring up for me this morning? well a quick trip down memory lane to my early days in recovery. a brief inventory of what is working for me today. and a quick peek at where i am going -- forward on the path of recovery, regardless of what i need to do today. i want the gifts that this spiritual manner of living has continued to give me. life today is a spiritual journey, i may not know where it is going but i am happy about where it has brought me and i do know where i came from.

∞ DT ∞