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i am powerless. my life is unmanageable. i must surrender.
okay, lessons in unmanageability and powerlessness over the past twenty-four hours are enough to make me say, I SURRENDER!
my web host had a major hardware failure and my main contact with the cyberworld was severed for the past twenty-four. two of my best blogs ever are in the bit bucket and now i am scrambling to think about how to replace them. and since no one can recover those blogs, you will just have to take my word for it NOD NOD WINK WINK!
honestly, i could not write yesterday and i will now insure that even when i am disconnected from the internet i will be able to write. is that fighting the will of my HIGHER POWER? perhaps, however i believe that taking precautions is not the same as not surrendering, in fact if i think about it a bit i can see it as pure surrender. hardware will fail, data will be lost, and there will be days that i cannot post these missives of great import. if i choose to surrender to those facts, then i will do what i need to do to minimize these events on my serenity.
so it goes, before i forget a anniversary wish to Tammy congrats on four years clean.
well back to bidness, i really hate the whole concept of surrender. i can cope with unmanageability, i can accept powerlessness, but surrender still is tough to swallow, at least some days. today i am ready to surrender some things, like my will and my life into the care of my loving HIGHER POWER. no i am not ready to surrender my opinions, nor am i ready to surrender my desire to stay clean NO MATTER WHAT! so i guess i have more than a couple of conditions on my surrender, and perhaps those conditions are in alignment with my TRUE will for myself, and perhaps not.
all i know right now is that i am grateful to be clean, and that i am grateful that i am willing to take the message to anywhwre i happen to be asked to take it, and today it is right here right now. so off to a bit of a gamble let us see if this blog gets saved.

∞ DT ∞