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↔ i have tried everything i can think of, exerted every ounce of force possible …

Posted: Sat, Jul 26, 2008 09:39:55 AM

to fill the spiritual hole inside of me. sitting here on vacation, and doing a bit of work and contemplating the family dynamic that is going on, that i am not part of, makes for an interesting morning. now this topic comes up, namely replacing a void with the love and care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME. i know that without what i have learned about myself, and without a bit of open-mindedness to principles beyond my desire to believe, i would not be here right now. oh i might still be alive eking out a miserable existence and caving to the grinding pressure of life in active addiction.
family reunions, a significant other, being successfully self-employed, self-assured enough to write what i think and post it on the internet. none of that would have been possible, nor would i even be capable of imagining that i could have such a life. so what changed? well i finally surrendered to the fact, that i lacked something, that something was a spiritual connection. through that connection, created and nourished by the daily maintenance of my recovery program, i get everything i need to survive in this modern, complicated world. and so much more!
i could go on and on, but i need to take my place in the shower queue and get ready to be present for those i happen to be sharing this day with. so off to another day of family vacation in the mountains and into living life as fully as i can!

∞ DT ∞


Another Look

This day in older entries

🗦 i have FAITH, 🗧
368 words ➥ Sunday, July 26, 2026 by donnot
🌶 it took me 🌶
412 words ➥ Saturday, July 26, 2025 by donnot
🤫 doing my best 🤫
514 words ➥ Friday, July 26, 2024 by donnot
🌋 open-mindedness 🌄
530 words ➥ Wednesday, July 26, 2023 by donnot
💸 sex, money, 💀
398 words ➥ Tuesday, July 26, 2022 by donnot
🐌 as easy 🐰
204 words ➥ Monday, July 26, 2021 by donnot
⚐ filling the ⚐
563 words ➥ Sunday, July 26, 2020 by donnot
💥 my denial does not 💥
658 words ➥ Friday, July 26, 2019 by donnot
🤬 a lack of certainty 🤷
543 words ➥ Thursday, July 26, 2018 by donnot
🙾 exerting every 🙿
596 words ➥ Wednesday, July 26, 2017 by donnot
⇋ the foundation ⇌
765 words ➥ Tuesday, July 26, 2016 by donnot
¿ unconditional surrender? !
740 words ➥ Sunday, July 26, 2015 by donnot
• only by surrendering unconditionally can i open myself wide —
506 words ➥ Saturday, July 26, 2014 by donnot
∫ sometimes in surrendering, i am not certain that ∫
760 words ➥ Friday, July 26, 2013 by donnot
¤ i will surrender unconditionally .
608 words ➥ Thursday, July 26, 2012 by donnot
¹ help begins only when i am able to admit complete defeat ¹
601 words ➥ Tuesday, July 26, 2011 by donnot
α i must surrender. only by doing so can i open myself wide ω
235 words ➥ Sunday, July 26, 2009 by donnot
α my lack of certainty, though, does not affect the essential truth: ω
389 words ➥ Thursday, July 26, 2007 by donnot
∞ know surrender! ∞
192 words ➥ Tuesday, July 26, 2005 by donnot
unconditionally surrendering
261 words ➥ Monday, July 26, 2004 by donnot

Tao Te Ching

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

The Tao Teh King, or The Tao and Its Characteristics
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

2) The multitude of men look satisfied and pleased; as if enjoying
a full banquet, as if mounted on a tower in spring. I alone seem listless
and still, my desires having as yet given no indication of their presence.
I am like an infant which has not yet smiled. I look dejected and
forlorn, as if I had no home to go to. The multitude of men all have
enough and to spare. I alone seem to have lost everything. My mind
is that of a stupid man; I am in a state of chaos. Ordinary men look
bright and intelligent, while I alone seem to be benighted. They look
full of discrimination, while I alone am dull and confused. I seem
to be carried about as on the sea, drifting as if I had nowhere to
rest. All men have their spheres of action, while I alone seem dull
and incapable, like a rude borderer. (Thus) I alone am different from
other men, but I value the nursing-mother (the Tao).