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yet i must trust them. how do i do that, given the evidence of my past?
the horns of this dilemma upon which i am thrust, is that i am just beginning to see myself as being trustworthy, based on my internal belief system it is hard to trust anyone else. so what is there to do? well for one, i can let go of my past, including those beliefs and values that i corrupted as a part of the finding the ways and means. i can also accept that i am not the man that i was ten years ago, or even a year ago. accepting that i becoming something different, well at least a person that is closer to my own vision of what i should be, is still a tough concept for me to face. over the past couple of years i have come to believe that i have a voice, and i have been expressing that voice with a passion that often does more harm than good. so what does discovering my voice and passion have to do with learning how to trust myself and others. well, trusting myself to be able to to learn when and how to express myself will also help accept when others express their passion. it will also create within me, the ability to let go of those parts of me that really have outlived their useful purpose. BUT i have yet to finish my sixth step, so i do get a bit of a break here.
am i worthy of being trusted? i am beginning to believe that i am, no matter how irresponsible, flaky or just plain lazy i still am. good thing i do not have a spiritual principle box to dive into every morning. because i doubt trustworthiness would have popped-out this morning.
off to the races to get some work done.

∞ DT ∞