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over time i have learned to develop some TRUST for both the members of this fellowship and those who i share my life with. the journey has not been easy. my experience in active addiction, was that those i trusted in any manner, ended-up hurting or betraying me in the long run. as a result when i started recovery i was untrusting and untrustworthy. my attitude was hurt them before they get a chance to hurt me. these attitudes were not conducive to learning to this new way of life and i had to let go. the process of becoming both trusting and trustworthy, started very simply with my first sponsor. to save my life i had to let go and trust another man with all of my stuff. i had to be willing to share those things inside me that i believed could and would be used against me. i had to learn that if i wanted to thrive that i needed to learn a new way of living. the result of this process has been many days of continuous clean time, loving and equal relationships and an awakening of my dead spirit. today i can trust more and be more trustworthy. does this mean that the fear of being hurt has left me? not at all, it just means that i have developed the courage to take a chance on trust and RECOVER, just for today.

-- DT --