β€ when i start to whine about how flakey the members of the fellowship may seem, β₯
Posted: Sat, Aug 3, 2013 03:23:19 PM
i can always remind myself that i AM NOT 100% reliable, either. more than likely i will surely disappoint someone in my life, no matter how hard i try not to.
okay, i chose the seed hours ago, since then i have been to a meeting, done some work, made an appointment with my sponse to go over my 8TH Step and ate lunch. what went through my head this morning, before all of that happened was that losing the medallion that commemorates my clean time was a metaphor for easily my recovery could and probably was slipping away. as i sat camped on my step work, i noticed i was getting quieter and quieter at meetings and less and less tolerant of some of the stuff that was being shared by the members in attendance. choosing not to tell them what i thought about the stuff they shared was certainly a good thing, there are more than likely no new names on my unfinished EIGHTH STEP, but it was also an indication of how sick i was getting and not feeling what was going on.
well now i know, and i am grateful that it did not take a relapse to get there.
yes i am flawed human being, as much as anyone else. on top of that i am an addict as well, so my little faux pas, can look a whole lot worse to me, and to those around me. it also means that when i hear something i do not agree with, that perhaps they are not idiots at all, just human beings.
i need a quick nap, so i will just end with this thought:
Just for today, i can choose to be more than i was yesterday
okay, i chose the seed hours ago, since then i have been to a meeting, done some work, made an appointment with my sponse to go over my 8TH Step and ate lunch. what went through my head this morning, before all of that happened was that losing the medallion that commemorates my clean time was a metaphor for easily my recovery could and probably was slipping away. as i sat camped on my step work, i noticed i was getting quieter and quieter at meetings and less and less tolerant of some of the stuff that was being shared by the members in attendance. choosing not to tell them what i thought about the stuff they shared was certainly a good thing, there are more than likely no new names on my unfinished EIGHTH STEP, but it was also an indication of how sick i was getting and not feeling what was going on.
well now i know, and i am grateful that it did not take a relapse to get there.
yes i am flawed human being, as much as anyone else. on top of that i am an addict as well, so my little faux pas, can look a whole lot worse to me, and to those around me. it also means that when i hear something i do not agree with, that perhaps they are not idiots at all, just human beings.
i need a quick nap, so i will just end with this thought:
Just for today, i can choose to be more than i was yesterday
∞ DT ∞