Blog entry for:
Tue, Aug 28, 2007 06:10:04 AM
↔ when the secrets are in control, ↔
posted: Tue, Aug 28, 2007 06:10:04 AM
they drive a wedge between myself, my Higher Power, and the things we value most about my recovery.
so what secrets do i need to reveal this fine and very early morning? well for once, not a single one! i spoke to my sponsor and a closed-mouth friend yesterday and i have moved on from the turmoil and chaos of the past few days. i am so ready to get on a jet plane and fly away from the daily grind. i guess that is hardly a secret, nevertheless, it is quite true. i do not know what it is about my life that always makes going away so stressful that i cannot sleep past 5 AM, but that was the case again this morning.
so here i sit, all my morning obligations met, waiting for the final task to complete so i can go home and pack.
so back to the reading, the main secret, of which i spewed about yesterday, is that i am not as ‘recovered’ as i want to be. i still take the inventory of others, i still run from my feelings and there are days when i still think i know everything. Yarg! the point of all that is i still can be teachable. it was kind of ironic that as i was speaking to my sponsor yesterday, he told me he knew nothing about recovery. not that he has nothing to share about his recovery experience, but the longer he stayed clean the less he knew, and now he has been ‘lessed’ to nothing. so there is HOPE for me after all!
so back to the homestead to see what i need to get before flying away and to finish up the tasks that need to be done there. see you all in San Antonio!
so what secrets do i need to reveal this fine and very early morning? well for once, not a single one! i spoke to my sponsor and a closed-mouth friend yesterday and i have moved on from the turmoil and chaos of the past few days. i am so ready to get on a jet plane and fly away from the daily grind. i guess that is hardly a secret, nevertheless, it is quite true. i do not know what it is about my life that always makes going away so stressful that i cannot sleep past 5 AM, but that was the case again this morning.
so here i sit, all my morning obligations met, waiting for the final task to complete so i can go home and pack.
so back to the reading, the main secret, of which i spewed about yesterday, is that i am not as ‘recovered’ as i want to be. i still take the inventory of others, i still run from my feelings and there are days when i still think i know everything. Yarg! the point of all that is i still can be teachable. it was kind of ironic that as i was speaking to my sponsor yesterday, he told me he knew nothing about recovery. not that he has nothing to share about his recovery experience, but the longer he stayed clean the less he knew, and now he has been ‘lessed’ to nothing. so there is HOPE for me after all!
so back to the homestead to see what i need to get before flying away and to finish up the tasks that need to be done there. see you all in San Antonio!
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
secrets and trust 179 words ➥ Saturday, August 28, 2004 by: donnotα freedom from the power of secrecy Ω 263 words ➥ Sunday, August 28, 2005 by: donnot
↔ when the secrets are in control, ↔ 274 words ➥ Monday, August 28, 2006 by: donnot
μ when i share my secret self in confidence with at least one human being … 179 words ➥ Thursday, August 28, 2008 by: donnot
º when i give in to my reluctance to reveal my true nature º 498 words ➥ Friday, August 28, 2009 by: donnot
› the 5TH Step does not encourage ME to tell everyone every little secret about MYSELF ‹ 894 words ➥ Saturday, August 28, 2010 by: donnot
‡ these defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure ‡ 908 words ➥ Sunday, August 28, 2011 by: donnot
→ when i realize that honest sharing is not life-threatening ← 399 words ➥ Tuesday, August 28, 2012 by: donnot
“ Step Five simply suggests that my secrets ” 593 words ➥ Wednesday, August 28, 2013 by: donnot
∗ i can disarm the secrets in my life ∗ 526 words ➥ Thursday, August 28, 2014 by: donnot
÷ light of exposure ÷ 897 words ➥ Friday, August 28, 2015 by: donnot
⇗ disarming the secrets ⇘ 525 words ➥ Sunday, August 28, 2016 by: donnot
🌩 honest sharing 🌪 644 words ➥ Monday, August 28, 2017 by: donnot
👎 secrets cause me 👍 424 words ➥ Tuesday, August 28, 2018 by: donnot
😒 can i disarm 😜 615 words ➥ Wednesday, August 28, 2019 by: donnot
🤐 my secret self 🤔 303 words ➥ Friday, August 28, 2020 by: donnot
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😏 i cause 😎 560 words ➥ Sunday, August 28, 2022 by: donnot
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🚏 i start by 🚏 326 words ➥ Wednesday, August 28, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
2) How do I know that it is so? By these facts:--In the kingdom the
multiplication of prohibitive enactments increases the poverty of
the people; the more implements to add to their profit that the people
have, the greater disorder is there in the state and clan; the more
acts of crafty dexterity that men possess, the more do strange contrivances
appear; the more display there is of legislation, the more thieves
and robbers there are.