β when the secrets are in control, β
Posted: Tue, Aug 28, 2007 06:10:04 AM
they drive a wedge between myself, my Higher Power, and the things we value most about my recovery.
so what secrets do i need to reveal this fine and very early morning? well for once, not a single one! i spoke to my sponsor and a closed-mouth friend yesterday and i have moved on from the turmoil and chaos of the past few days. i am so ready to get on a jet plane and fly away from the daily grind. i guess that is hardly a secret, nevertheless, it is quite true. i do not know what it is about my life that always makes going away so stressful that i cannot sleep past 5 AM, but that was the case again this morning.
so here i sit, all my morning obligations met, waiting for the final task to complete so i can go home and pack.
so back to the reading, the main secret, of which i spewed about yesterday, is that i am not as ‘recovered’ as i want to be. i still take the inventory of others, i still run from my feelings and there are days when i still think i know everything. Yarg! the point of all that is i still can be teachable. it was kind of ironic that as i was speaking to my sponsor yesterday, he told me he knew nothing about recovery. not that he has nothing to share about his recovery experience, but the longer he stayed clean the less he knew, and now he has been ‘lessed’ to nothing. so there is HOPE for me after all!
so back to the homestead to see what i need to get before flying away and to finish up the tasks that need to be done there. see you all in San Antonio!
so what secrets do i need to reveal this fine and very early morning? well for once, not a single one! i spoke to my sponsor and a closed-mouth friend yesterday and i have moved on from the turmoil and chaos of the past few days. i am so ready to get on a jet plane and fly away from the daily grind. i guess that is hardly a secret, nevertheless, it is quite true. i do not know what it is about my life that always makes going away so stressful that i cannot sleep past 5 AM, but that was the case again this morning.
so here i sit, all my morning obligations met, waiting for the final task to complete so i can go home and pack.
so back to the reading, the main secret, of which i spewed about yesterday, is that i am not as ‘recovered’ as i want to be. i still take the inventory of others, i still run from my feelings and there are days when i still think i know everything. Yarg! the point of all that is i still can be teachable. it was kind of ironic that as i was speaking to my sponsor yesterday, he told me he knew nothing about recovery. not that he has nothing to share about his recovery experience, but the longer he stayed clean the less he knew, and now he has been ‘lessed’ to nothing. so there is HOPE for me after all!
so back to the homestead to see what i need to get before flying away and to finish up the tasks that need to be done there. see you all in San Antonio!
∞ DT ∞