Blog entry for:

more harm than good, as obvious as that may sound, there is certainly a part of me the at screams, NEVER, EVER will anyone know everything about me. the irony of that exclamation, is that there certainly is at least one person who knows all about who and what i am, even those deep and dark places i would prefer to keep on the down-low. i have never been betrayed by any of the men i sponsor, and my natural reluctance to keep parts of me hidden, has served me well when i share with my peers in general. so i guess there are actually three men who know all about me, each one of my sponsors. although what i told my very first sponsor was quite limited, it was the best i could do, way back when.
moving along, it appears that my little Mexican stand-off may actually be coming to an end. finally after months of jumping through hoops and pursuing dead ends, i may actually get this transaction completed in the next few days, there may actually be light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train. i am not getting myself worked up about what may happen and spending money i do not have.
on to the next topic on the stack, my work situation. i know i often whine about what i do, but when i consider my situation in context, i really need to practice a bit of gratitude. i am paid well, i can do my job and for the most part my client finds my work very acceptable. it is true, that being a Linux administrator and doing production support is far from my “dream” job, it is also true, that this job supports a life-style that i find very comfortable, most days. when i look around and see the folks flying a sign on the local corners, i realize that i, too, could be in a spot where i would have to choose to do that as well. as i see that i am running out of time to accomplish what i want to get done, before i have to go hear fingernails on a chalkboard asking why something is the way it is, i need to remind myself that i choose to stay in my job, and that choice feeds my belly and allows me the freedom to turn my physical life around, just for today.

∞ DT ∞