Blog entry for:

i make that commitment to stick with my program, to avoid using, no matter what happens. a courageous addict is one who does not use, one day at a time, no matter what.
so first things first, in response to a friend and peer in recovery, i was not upset by the closing speaker’s opinion on that particular piece of literature. that is strictly his opinion, and my opinion/ well i happen to like having all the tools i can when it comes to being a sponsor. it has been my experience that i do not have all the answers and that particular tool provides a common ground between each of my sponsees. i choose to accept the collective conscience of the fellowship when it come to our literature, and as a matter of fact my sponsor believes that piece is the master work of our body of literature. so it goes… on to courage…
when i read the title of this reading this morning i instantly had an image from the wizard of oz pop into my head, that of the cowardly lion, with his crown made from a broken vase and his cape of drapery, marching around the room with his chest puffed out, and then the wicked witch of the west shows up and he returns to his cowardly self. i empathize with the lion in this instance, of course it is easy to be courageous when there is nothing to face, although i would probably have to define that in a different manner, but when my wicked desire to use appears out of a cloud of foul black smoke, it is quite easy to cower and shake with fear. i own that i am afraid of my next use, courage for me, is to walk through that fear and face the world without the mind-numbing cloud of chemical substances aboard. i have no illusions about the power the part of me i call my disease has over the whole me. do i live in constant fear of that part of me? well, i could, but i choose to live in watchful vigilance and do the things that have kept me clean to date. like the cowardly lion, i have learned that true courage is not being fearless, and has to come from within. the power to feel courageous comes from my FAITH that a POWER GREATER THAN ME, is providing what i need to face the world around me. i do not need some sort of medal or tribute to feel courageous, just a bit of FAITH, and the application of the principles as they have come down to me today.
so off to face the world and see what i can get accomplished, with a bit of courage.

∞ DT ∞