Blog entry for:

i know that, so long as i am in the care of my HIGHER POWER, i will have the power i need to face life on its own terms. courage! well, this morning i am reminded of the cowardly lion in the wizard of oz, the movie, as i have never finished the book. so the image i have is of the actor in the lion suit, at the end, when he realizes that he had courage all along, after all, how could he have possibly done what he did, if truly lacked courage.
i am sure the reason i see that image this morning, is that as i redefine who i see myself as, and discard the notions of how others see me, all of a sudden, i realize that i too, have had courage the whole time. although i acted out of FEAR for many years, all that time, under the surface, my courage was boiling away, kind of like lava under a volcano, and like that magma, it would have minor eruptions form time to time, and spew out as anything but courage. okay, since i started this metaphor, i might as well extend it to its ultimate conclusion; it then follows that this last episode of growth was more like Krakatoa or Mount Saint Helens; huge, messy and effecting everyone and everything in its immediate vicinity, but once complete, not likely to happen again, any time soon. as the dust clears, the shape of the landscape has been altered and it will take some getting used to, both by me, and those who happen to be part of my life. fortunately, if those who are part of my life, have been listening, instead of wrapped up in their own little world, it should be a piece of cake for them to navigate my post ninth step landscape. if not, well there will be many hidden pits, fumaroles and perhaps a geyser or two in the future, as they blindly trip through the altered landscape.
be that as it may, i also will need courage, to continue to explore this alien and stark landscape. the signs of life returning are all around me, all i have to do is be present for them and they will be revealed, same as it ever was!
it is now time to sign-off and see if i can have a successful run, across the tame and constant landscape of my neighborhood, not a whole lot of courage neede there to face rthat particular challenge. so ta-ta for now.

∞ DT ∞