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it requires a liberal dose of courage. just to be certain that this gets said before i really get working, recovery also takes work, courage alone, in my experience is not sufficient to live a life in active recovery.
sorry, i got distracted by text messages from the guys i hang with on Tuesday afternoons. which reminds that a liberal dose of fellowship is also part of the recipe for a life in active recovery. i mean seriously what else is necessary? well i am not writing about that today, so a quick inventory for what i have found is necessary before i move on. what i need to recover:
meetings, a sponsor, willingness to apply these principles, and a relationship with a POWER that is greater than me and my addiction.
i do find the definition of courage presented in the reading, an apt one for me, as i have found out, that staying clean for me, means doing what i have always done, no matter what or if i even feel like it. i have had to persevere through times when i was totally bored and disgusted with the fellowship and all its members. i have had to persevere through times, when strong feelings brought back the desire to escape back into a world of chemical bliss. and most importantly i have had to persevere through times when i just could not see the point anymore. all of these examples, just scratch the surface of what courage to face each day in recovery means for me. the amazing part, is i did it, not in spite of myself, but because those who share my journey with me, provide me the example that no matter what they too, can persevere through anything and stay clean, and i am not just speaking of those who have gone before me, i am also talking about those who are just arriving as well. in fact, those who are just coming back, show the sort of courage, that i do not know whether or not i possess. for me the easier and softer way, is not to attempt a brief journey back into the world of using, because i am such a wimp, i am far from certain that i have the sort of courage to admit that i am whupped again.
anyhow, i have to do, before i go to work and i want to be able to hit the gar shop later this afternoon, so with just a bit of courage i will close this exercise with the thought that whatever courage i have, comes from a POWER that fuels my recovery, so i will grab whatever power, that POWER provides and get busy with my day, just for right now.

∞ DT ∞