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becoming humble means i attain a realistic view of myself and where i fit in the world. understanding this intellectually is quite different than understanding this emotionally. i have no problem with this concept on an intellectual basis, i do have problems from time to time understanding and accepting the concept of being humble on an emotional basis.
i have a part of me that lies to me all the time, although it is easier and easier to catch the part of me i call my addict in a lie these days, some of the stuff i tell myself sounds quite reasonable and rational, so although i feel that something is wrong, i still end up believing those lies. the worst part of that dishonesty is that, it is never a shade of gray, it always seems to be that i am the worst or i am the best, and hardly ever anything in between.
the good thing, and one of the things i am most grateful for, is that part of my daily routine is to read the daily meditation book that the addicts that comprise the fellowship that gave me this new life chose to write long before i ever got clean. the reading today, as well as many others, drives home the theme that i am not an extreme example, that i have assets and i have liabilities, and as a result am just another human being.
so on that brief but powerful note, i think i will sign off and hit the showers. life is after all, awaiting me.

∞ DT ∞