Blog entry for:

all facets of myself, seeing my true place in the world. WITHOUT hammering myself into dust as part of the process!
okay, i was late for the meeting last night, due to a conflicting event and left during the hostage taking before the closing of the meeting. not exactly my most spiritual night. i will say this simply and succinctly: ANYONE who decides to share in a general manner five minutes after the meeting is over, is in my opinion is far from practicing any sense of humility. they are in my opinion, being grandiose and self-seeking and are truly deserving of the label hostage taker. do not get me wrong, i am not talking about those who are going through a crisis, large or small, or who have the desire to use, they deserve and are entitled to opening their mouths and allowing their peers the opportunity to talk to them after the meeting. no what i am talking about is those members who sit through an entire meeting and when it is time to close, decide to chime in, repeating everything they just heard, i mean seriously, what exactly are they trying to add! and this one one of those notorious hostage-takers who goes on and on often for ten minutes or more. i wonder if they ever stop to think that maybe someone else just may have something more germane, pithy, wise or desperate to share.
rant off!
which brings me back to humility. my little rant above would not be considered by many to be very humble. after all, i cast judgements, through around labels and basically disrespected the integrity of one of my peers, by lumping them into a category of people i consider unworthy of my respect. especially since i bailed the second the first syllables left their lips. well, that is a part of me, i can be impatient and intolerant. that is no excuse for my behavior, it is a statement of fact, just as i am dark and often cynical. i knew last night if i did not bail, i would have done or said something that i would have at the very least owned as wrong and have to admit it. as it was leaving, was the path of least resistance and kept me from opening a whole can of very nasty crawly worms. that is exactly the sort of behavior that the reading was talking, accepting who i am, and being true to that in all my affairs. it does not say that to exercise humility i NEED to m minimize the achievement of extended periods of clean time. it does not say that i need to dismiss my part in the financial and material successes that i have had. nor does it mean that i have to ignore my part in the parts of my life that are not going well, tossing into that whole “God works in mysterious ways” bucket.
no, what i heard from the reading this morning is that to be humble means to own who i am, own my life and man up and take responsibility for what is truly in my power and let go of the rest.to walk away from a situation that was about to go really bad, was a true exercise of humility for me. to not allow myself to become a victim this morning, well that needs a bit of work, as i certainly started this out by wanting to whine about how victimized i was because…
it is however, time to roll west to the people's republic. this day after election day will certainly bring a great deal of spin about how the voters of Colorado hate the children and schools. the truth is we hate regressive and unfair taxation and if the powers that be, want to fund the schools we have, than they better find a way to more fairly spread the burden of taxation on its citizens. ok, rant off, time to be grateful that i can rant and be a part of my life today.

∞ DT ∞