Blog entry for:

first off a bit of a vent:
if you are 30 minutes late for something and you happen upon people to eating their evening meal, the polite thing to do is to quickly take care of the task at hand and move on, any other action is self-absorbed and unbelievably selfish.
k, now i can get into where i was going. humility&hellip hmmmmm… an excellent topic that fits into my recent theme about separating fantasy from reality and it even goes toward my little vent. i have really been exposed to how out of touch i am with reality lately and mostly through the actions and behaviors of others. over and over again the past five days, i have been exposed to varying versions of reality, some not too far off the mark and others so far from reality that one may question the sanity of the person speaking. what that has driven home for me, is whether or not i am currently grounded in reality. is my current world view one that another rational being would also see, or has my insanity locked me into a self-absorbed world where i am the very center and it is my job to make the world safe for democracy again.
a quick inventory of my attitudes and the reactions of others about those attitudes is a good way to see. there has been no puzzled looks from anyone lately, when i shared one-on-one with them. i have had no angry phone calls, nor have i had anyone pull me aside and say that what i am doing is dangerous and needs to be stopped at once. i have received more than one call over the past week asking for suggestions and guidance, so it would appear that i do have a fairly good grasp on reality. best of all, i have not found myself talking about others and condemning their behavior based on my own neurotic filters of morality. so it would be a safe conclusion that i am doing okay in that respect.
where is all of this leading? back to the basics, when i find myself in conflict with one person, the chances are even that i am the one in the wrong, when i find myself in conflict with many, the probability of me being ONE WHO IS WRONG approach 100%. as there is not a whole lot of strife and angst in my little corner of the world, at least today, it is a good sign that perhaps i am moving in the right direction.
i am who i am. i get that. best of all, learning to be humble means i DO NOT have to seek approval for being that person today. nor do i need to puff myself up so i look bigger than life, by tearing other down. i say that only because it is ONE OF MY FAVORITE defense mechanisms, or to put it into the terms of the program one of my favorite shortcomings, as it protects me ever so fragile self-esteem. before you get your panties in a bun, rest assured that other than the first paragraph, clearly labeled as a vent, that this writing exercise is about me and not you, you are just not important to me this morning and i am far too selfish these days to spend my time talking about you.
with that in mind, i think i will see if i can let go, get a run in and see what is blocking me from my original plan. the reality is, until i suit up and show up, nothing can happen.

∞ DT ∞