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i experience the spiritual awakening resulting from them in my own way. the shape that spiritual awakening takes in my life will varies, depending on who i am. so what did i here this morning? well i could go two different directions. the part of me i call my disease, can go with the i am so unique direction. after all if my spiritual awakening is different than everyone else’s, than i must be unique, and is i am unique, no one can possibly understand me, and if no one can possibly understand me, no one can possible help and support me, and then i am on my own, id i am on my own, then i guess i may have the strength to stay clean without the program, and if i can do that, then i can use like a normal person -- and BOOM there i am!
sounds more than a bit ridiculous, but it is what the literature says, when lifted out of context and taken to some hyperbolic plane. what i actually heard this morning that i am like the members i share the program with in many respects, BUT just as my disease is manifested in various ways, so is my spiritual path. i share the disease of addiction with all members of the fellowship, my experiences will probably not match exactly with anyone else, which is a good thing, as i would hate to be a cookie-cutter Stepford person. just as the symptoms of my disease vary, so will the symptoms of my spiritual recovery. i am after all an individual, and how i see and fell the world will be different than anyone else’s. that i can accept, and what i also need to accept is that even though i do not share the exact same manifestation of the symptoms of addiction with anyone else, it does not disqualify me or make me different from the other members around the world who have found recovery. my path to recovery was unique in its details, but not in its end result, so it only makes sense that the manifestations of my spiritual recovery will be uniquely mine, sharing common elements with the rest of this worldwide fellowship.
so before i go walk my canine friend, just this thought i can be a unique individual, but i am not all that different, and the similarities are what will keep me here, in recovery, for yet one more day.

∞ DT ∞