ฮ i experience my spiritual awakenings as a combination of things ฮฉ
Posted: Tue, Apr 3, 2007 07:32:06 AM
each combination as unique as i am.
and the strangest part is that for me, the awakenings i have are different all the time, just as i am changing as i progress along the path of recovery. since i am working on being prompt for my feelings, part of that is to be prompt for my spiritual awakenings. i have shared before how i often miss them until way after the fact, but i am discovering that the more i work on being present for myself and with what is going on inside of me the better i am about what is happening to me spiritually. my latest awakening??? it is not the meetings or those members in attendance that make them good or bad in my head, it is me, specifically the part of me i call my disease. yes i will still need to travel a bit to get a broader perspective, no biggie, but i am the one who needs to choose to find what i need to find at the meetings of my home group. not exactly earth shattering nor is it going to be life-changing either. it has allowed me to once again desire to go to the meetings of my home group and find something of worth every time i go.
so anyhow enough about what has happened, what is happening is that i am comfortable in my own skin when i sit in a meeting for the first time in months. i can actually hear what is being said and the judgmental machine has been kicked into the muts mode -- yes it is still going on, perhaps that too shall pass, but the volume is turned waaaaay down, and for me that is a good thing.
well off to the races and see what the day will bring!
and the strangest part is that for me, the awakenings i have are different all the time, just as i am changing as i progress along the path of recovery. since i am working on being prompt for my feelings, part of that is to be prompt for my spiritual awakenings. i have shared before how i often miss them until way after the fact, but i am discovering that the more i work on being present for myself and with what is going on inside of me the better i am about what is happening to me spiritually. my latest awakening??? it is not the meetings or those members in attendance that make them good or bad in my head, it is me, specifically the part of me i call my disease. yes i will still need to travel a bit to get a broader perspective, no biggie, but i am the one who needs to choose to find what i need to find at the meetings of my home group. not exactly earth shattering nor is it going to be life-changing either. it has allowed me to once again desire to go to the meetings of my home group and find something of worth every time i go.
so anyhow enough about what has happened, what is happening is that i am comfortable in my own skin when i sit in a meeting for the first time in months. i can actually hear what is being said and the judgmental machine has been kicked into the muts mode -- yes it is still going on, perhaps that too shall pass, but the volume is turned waaaaay down, and for me that is a good thing.
well off to the races and see what the day will bring!
∞ DT ∞