Blog entry for:

... personalities
one of the most difficult concepts for me to practice. although it sounds so noble and easy to implement into a program of recovery, i often find myself stumbling over various personalities.
part of my problem is that i came here with some very strong opinions formed over the course of my active disease. i happen to be one of those "lucky ones" whose using career spanned decades. the insidious creep toward judgementalness and self-righteousness come very easy for me, as these were necessary for me to survive the score of years i was engulfed in my disease. although i recognize these as defects of character and the associated behaviors as shortcomings, these arise time and time again in my 10th Step and i have yet to be relieved of their burden.
that does not give me license to act-out, on the contrary, i need to try to resist the impulse and look at others the way i have been taught to look at myself -- as sick individuals seeking to get better.
by adopting an attitude of tolerance and forgiveness for others when they act-out, i develop the tolerance and forgiveness for myself.
recognizing my reactions and reigning in my learned instincts is how i try and practice this concept in my daily life. i know that i will never be perfect, so how can i expect that of anyone else. this is a process of learning how to look at things differently today.
-- DT --