Blog entry for:

no longer did i feel like an alien, a stranger wherever i went. i was at home in these meetings, among friends. okay a bit of linguistic gymnastics to get around identification with my specific fellowship, but it was the line i wanted to start with! so it goes, my obsession this morning is about getting my yard to green up. it is getting there, but not nearly fast enough for me, and as a result of my impatience, it was time to rely on some chemistry. i will see if it does the trick or not. so i sound like some sort of normal suburban home owner instead of an addict in recovery. if i applied my recovery tools to my front lawn, i would say, okay i have watered and mowed, now it is up to my HIGHER POWER to make this puppy green up and thrive. instead i keep trying to self-will my lawn to be the greenest and most weed free in the neighborhood, so perhaps after this morning it is time to step back and allow my HP to work on my lawn, just like working on me. so although this may seem like a digression, here is where i bring it home. it is only because i find people just like me, that obsess about the silliest sort bog things, that i have the ability to worry about my front lawn. had i not walked into that first meeting all those days ago, i would not have a lawn to obsess about. when i share about this at my home group tonight i am sure to get a knowing nod or chuckle, because they are so much like me that they will understand how crazy and insane this really is! after all, i am not some sort of special case, nor am i by any means, CURED AS THE OBSESSION WITH MY FRONT LAWN ILLUSTRATES SO GRAPHICALLY! but like all good things it is time to move back into my work for today. my lawn will get green or not, but i will go to a meeting tonight as i need to see those members that provide me with what i NEED to stay clean one more day.

∞ DT ∞