โ just as the disease of addiction is evidenced by definite symptoms โฆ
Posted: Thu, May 22, 2008 09:05:17 AM
so is a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs in a recovering addict. so i am torn between writing about the symptoms of a spiritual awakening in myself, or those i have observed in others. the question of whether or not i have seen such phenomenon is moot, because it almost goes without saying, however recognizing such happenings id what the reading spoke to me about this morning. i probably have written many times before that i i miss the symptoms of spiritual awakenings in myself,, and cataloged the entire litany of missed experiences, so i will not go there today. i probably have also written about the nature of those experiences, ands what i have observed in others, so once again i will drive down a different highway. the problem is, that being as obsessive as i am about writing this blog, and using a cyclic body of readings to draw my inspiration from, is that try as i may, i end up repeating myself. so something entirely new!
as part of my seventh step assignment i needed to learn how to be present and conscious for my spiritual self. after all, to live in the physical world, i need to be conscious of what is going on around me. for example as i drive my car i have to be aware of where the other cars are, how fast they are going, road conditions and traffic in front and behind me. slips in to unconsciousness cause me to be dangerous to myself and those i share the road with, resulting in one finger salutes and angry tirades as the most minor consequence to death and destruction on the other end of the spectrum.
when i came to recovery, i was spiritually in a coma. my spiritual side has not been totally destroyed, it had however been beaten into a deep and nearly fatal coma. across the course of my recovery, my spirit has stirred, produced an awakening then slipped back into a slumber, always less deep than before. as those awakenings became more frequent, i became more aware of the spiritual side of my life, and how it affects me everyday, every waking moment of my life. uncomfortable as it is for this rational, linear, and logical addict, my job is to tolerate and be present for the spiritual side of my life. i can no longer survive in a spiritual slumber, and tolerance is the path to acceptance. actually awareness is the first step on that path, and as i have progressed through my seventh step, i have become more aware of what is going on inside and outside of me in the spiritual realm. i am still uncomfortable when i allow myself to sense that side of life, but i am open-minded enough today to allow myself to feel my way through to being aware, and allowing myself to learn how to be present for everything that is going on today.
so although this delve in the spiritual and philosophical is wonderful, reality calls, and it is time for top get busy with what i need to do today! i guess i will do my best to be present for what ever happens today and allow that awareness to permeate all aspects of my being. that is more than enough for this addict to chew off today.
as part of my seventh step assignment i needed to learn how to be present and conscious for my spiritual self. after all, to live in the physical world, i need to be conscious of what is going on around me. for example as i drive my car i have to be aware of where the other cars are, how fast they are going, road conditions and traffic in front and behind me. slips in to unconsciousness cause me to be dangerous to myself and those i share the road with, resulting in one finger salutes and angry tirades as the most minor consequence to death and destruction on the other end of the spectrum.
when i came to recovery, i was spiritually in a coma. my spiritual side has not been totally destroyed, it had however been beaten into a deep and nearly fatal coma. across the course of my recovery, my spirit has stirred, produced an awakening then slipped back into a slumber, always less deep than before. as those awakenings became more frequent, i became more aware of the spiritual side of my life, and how it affects me everyday, every waking moment of my life. uncomfortable as it is for this rational, linear, and logical addict, my job is to tolerate and be present for the spiritual side of my life. i can no longer survive in a spiritual slumber, and tolerance is the path to acceptance. actually awareness is the first step on that path, and as i have progressed through my seventh step, i have become more aware of what is going on inside and outside of me in the spiritual realm. i am still uncomfortable when i allow myself to sense that side of life, but i am open-minded enough today to allow myself to feel my way through to being aware, and allowing myself to learn how to be present for everything that is going on today.
so although this delve in the spiritual and philosophical is wonderful, reality calls, and it is time for top get busy with what i need to do today! i guess i will do my best to be present for what ever happens today and allow that awareness to permeate all aspects of my being. that is more than enough for this addict to chew off today.
∞ DT ∞