Blog entry for:

a spiritual awakening made manifest by certain obvious signs.
so the signs contained in the reading are more than a bit corny, and before i forget, i did not make a meeting last night, television was more important than meetings to me. just got to keep myself honest! and perhaps that is one of the signs of a spiritual awakening in this addict. holding myself accountable to no one and everyone, after all, who knows who read my missive from a day ago. it really does not matter, part of what has been awakened in me is a sense of becoming more than i ever was. one of the gifts of recovery, and probably yet another sign of a spiritual awakening is that i no longer want to be dishonest. there is an old cliché, from a different fellowship that speaks directly to this, all you get when you sober up a horse thief is a sober horse thief. what that says to me is that ues i can be clean, and even maintain long periods of abstinence from the use of drugs, but unless i work some steps and participate in the recovery process, i will never have any sort of spiritual awakening. i will still be the exact same person who walked into the rooms, and if i was miserable at the end of my use, and was i ever brother, i will still be just as miserable to date. the promise of freedom from active addiction does not come with simple abstinence, although that is a condition necessary for that promise to come true, it is not sufficient. if i want to have the freedom of that single promise than i must do the work. as i do the work, i become more than i ever was, and morph into the type of person i have always wanted to be. so with that thought in my mind, wanting to be more than i am, i will continue the sixth step process, a few new items need to be added to my list and i will let myself find the humor in that situation, after all the absurdity of an addict desiring to stay clean and be more than a using addict is in and of itself quite a delicious irony!

∞ DT ∞