ฮฑ accustomed to living a life crippled by addiction, full of fear and uncertainty โฆ
Posted: Fri, Jul 11, 2008 09:17:00 AM
i need help to stand. just like a child beginning its march toward adulthood, i take my halting first steps toward recovery. and those steps are still quite tenuous some days. so not to belabor a point, i find this metaphor more than a bit hokey and trite, nevertheless, i also see that it applies to me, and offers me a framework in which i can look at the journey that recovery has brought me to.
but exactly what does any of this have to do with anything this morning? well, i am not quite sure where i need to go with this, so all it is, is filler until i get a clue. or maybe it is a warm up to take the steps i need to take today. this is my off day from my workout schedule, yes, i have come to the realization that i need a day off every seven or so from my physical exertions, so that my body can heal and rest. perhaps it is time to apply that same principle to my work schedule. i may not work eight hours a day, but i do work almost every single day, not allowing my mind to to relax for twenty-four hours at all. so the steps i need to be learning from my older brothers and sisters is how i can take care of me, how i can balance the needs of myself with the needs of my clients, and the needs of the fellowship that i serve and the needs of my significant other. hmmmm, not a bad project to undertake -- seeking out and actually listening to the suggestions of those who have gone before me. yes i may stumble and fall as i attempt to walk in the manner that they suggest, yes i may even scrape my proverbial knee, BUT it has been my experience that when i choose to listen and accept then i get something more than i can come up with myself.
although my life is no longer full of fear and uncertainty, it is full of stress and angst, which i create myself. i do not believe any of those can be exterminated from my life, i do believe that all can be reduced, all i have to do is ask! so off to the salt mines and let me see if i can accomplish enough today to take a day off.
but exactly what does any of this have to do with anything this morning? well, i am not quite sure where i need to go with this, so all it is, is filler until i get a clue. or maybe it is a warm up to take the steps i need to take today. this is my off day from my workout schedule, yes, i have come to the realization that i need a day off every seven or so from my physical exertions, so that my body can heal and rest. perhaps it is time to apply that same principle to my work schedule. i may not work eight hours a day, but i do work almost every single day, not allowing my mind to to relax for twenty-four hours at all. so the steps i need to be learning from my older brothers and sisters is how i can take care of me, how i can balance the needs of myself with the needs of my clients, and the needs of the fellowship that i serve and the needs of my significant other. hmmmm, not a bad project to undertake -- seeking out and actually listening to the suggestions of those who have gone before me. yes i may stumble and fall as i attempt to walk in the manner that they suggest, yes i may even scrape my proverbial knee, BUT it has been my experience that when i choose to listen and accept then i get something more than i can come up with myself.
although my life is no longer full of fear and uncertainty, it is full of stress and angst, which i create myself. i do not believe any of those can be exterminated from my life, i do believe that all can be reduced, all i have to do is ask! so off to the salt mines and let me see if i can accomplish enough today to take a day off.
∞ DT ∞