ฮฑ many times i feel like i cannot take another step in recovery ฮฉ
Posted: Tue, Jul 11, 2006 07:11:24 AM
but i am supported by other members as i walk toward a full life in recovery.
whether i want to be or not! some days the last thing i want is to have that friendly voice warmly encouraging me that it will be alright and i am getting better, despite what my head tells me. all i want to do in times like this is whine, bitch and moan, after all i am not really getting any better, or my life would look like....
and of course, those are the times when i NEED encouragement the most! i am really a poor judge of what i NEED, and get my desires constantly confused with those things i think i NEED. but needs and wants is a topic for another day and i have wandered far enough off course for today.
whether i want to be or not! some days the last thing i want is to have that friendly voice warmly encouraging me that it will be alright and i am getting better, despite what my head tells me. all i want to do in times like this is whine, bitch and moan, after all i am not really getting any better, or my life would look like....
and of course, those are the times when i NEED encouragement the most! i am really a poor judge of what i NEED, and get my desires constantly confused with those things i think i NEED. but needs and wants is a topic for another day and i have wandered far enough off course for today.
FOCUS -- FOCUS --> ENCOURAGEMENT <-- FOCUSk, i am back again i think. i really do want to be encouraged especially in those dark times, and the wonderful part about encouragement is that it does not necessarily have to come from a member with more clean time to be effective. sometimes, well honestly most of the time, i get the biggest jolt when a sponsee or a relative newcomer tells me that it will be alright and echoes some of the pearls of wisdom that are part and parcel of recovery, especially reminding me how i was there for them when they needed a kind word and a bit of encouragement, and that they are grateful that perhaps their words can help me through what ever happens to be going on in my head. and that two-way street concept about encouragement fills me with the HOPE that no matter how many times my internet connection goes down today, no matter how much of my buggy code shows up today, no matter how sore and tired i am, i can recover another day and someone will say just the right thing to get me back on track.
∞ DT ∞