Blog entry for:

if i advise someone, without having experienced the miracle of a particular step, chances are the message will fail to reach the ears of the newcomer. well, this is a great reading for me this morning, as i have been wondering a whole bunch of stuff lately, among which, am i really sharing my EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH and HOPE, or am i tailoring my message to suit the audience that happens to be in the room? even more to the point, am i doing what i purport to do, even when no one is looking? basically, these questions come down to am i living the 12th STEP, or merely mouthing the words.
a quick inventory can help me to assess what is up, in this respect, using my actions as the criteria and the reactions of those around me as the result, to see if this is how i am living. while doing this inventory here and now, would be wonderfully salacious for all concerned, i am not quite in the mood to air that much of my sh!tty laundry in public. nor do i believe that would accomplish much, except to humiliate myself, so you will just have to trust me when i pause for a few minutes and go over this privately.
--PREGNANT PAUSE--
well, after a few minutes of quiet contemplation, the results were exactly as i thought they may be, yes i do live these principles, but as always there is ample room for improvement.
each day, i stay clean, and each day i do what is in front of me, creates withing in the conditions necessary for change. i truly have no clue what works for others, nor would i be presumptive enough to suggest that so and so should be doing such and such. i can say, that each and every time i need to surrender self-will into the care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME, and i choose to hold on to it, i am hardly providing an example of how to live the program for those who see my behaviors. each time i purport to KNOW GOD’s will for me as some sort of certainty, i am hardly working the ELEVENTH STEP. and most importantly for me, each time i focus on the outcome rather than on the process, i am losing the opportunity to live my program of recovery. do not get me wrong, i also do not believe that i need to sit still and do nothing, waiting for my daily burning bush. i do set goals, and i do live in a world of outcome-based behaviors. for me, to live according to these principles, i NEED to look ahead a bit, find an outcome that is acceptable to me, and take action to see it to fruition. after that, i NEED to focus on the process, to see if my actions are in line with that, or even <GASP> does my desired outcome need to change based on new information. allowing the goals and outcomes i set and desire to be malleable, demonstrates that i can live by the principles that i say i live by, and more importantly allows me to surrender to my true will as well as the will of my HIGHER POWER.
anyhow, my goal for today is to see how well i can apply these principles in my life and live a program that may be a beacon to those members who are just arriving. you know attraction rather than promotion, and i am the one who needs to be living attractively.

∞ DT ∞