Blog entry for:

is certainly a decent mantra for me this morning, as i am entirely ready to have my character defects removed. as i shared at my home group yesterday and with my sponsor on the phone, i am exhausted by the amount of TENTH STEP corrections i need to make to my day, on almost a daily basis. even though i know there is relief at the end of STEP SIX and SEVEN looms and provides me the opportunity to take care of my shortcomings, i still balk at formally doing the work the SIXTH STEP requires. as a result, this time through the steps, it is working the fVck out of me! 😭
thinking about how i have been reacting, rather than responding to the less than stellar behavior of some of my peers, i could rationalize, justify and generally use jazz hands to sanitize what i have been doing, with another old tool from my toolbox: “see what you made me do?” when that line starts to pop up in my head, in preparation for me uttering it out loud, i know i am in trouble and need some medicine very quickly. no matter i attempt to deny it, i need to get moving on my step work, before i lose something very important to, more important than the respect of some of my peers. no matter how blameless i want to be, i certainly had a hand in the chaos of the past few weeks and i found out how easy it was to stir that particular pot, as they seem to have, very, thin skin and EXPECT everyone to treat them with respect and kindness, no exceptions. mu journey into something new and different will make me a better person and certainly is a much healthier choice than waiting them out.
so it is time to put this baby top bed, get ready for a bit of football and enjoy the rest of this very nice day. i am glad i have already swept my side of the street clean, no matter what someone else may feel. i am okay with the correction i made and i can walk with my head held high and be certain that i will be a bit m ore careful about who i choose to serve my fellowship in partnership with, in the days yet to come.

∞ DT ∞