Blog entry for:

i came to the fellowship because my very best thinking had gotten me nowhere. okay, if i want to change, then i need to open my mind to something different. i get it. what i am having a problem with this morning, is how i guide a man i sponsor back on to the path of recovery. he decided that a forty was a good idea the other night, and now all of a sudden, everything is once again an argument with him. of course what he thinks is really irrelevant to the topic at hand, after all, i was not the one who decided a large beer was just the ticket, nor am i the one who is finding fault with everything the program has to say. no what is going on inside of me, is that i may be closing my mind to his needs and concerns. yes early recovery is confusing, and to be starting it all over again after six months or so really tosses the apple cart. so to speak. what i am hearing, is to let go, answer his questions to the best of my ability and let him discover what he needs to uncover to move forward. all the while, reopening my mind to his slings and arrows, such as they are. these days i am moving forward with this whole if i want to be respected than i have to be respectful gig, and last night i came to the conclusion that if i do not do something different with respect to another sponsee, than i will continue to get the same results. i will take one more collect call from him, to tell him that it is not okay to keep calling and that i am not his errand boy and that it is time he stopped asking me to do what i am unwilling to do. this is also part of that, because if i do not respect myself, and set boundaries, i will continue to get into the same sort of mess i have been finding myself in lately.
so anyhow, i guess i am hearing all sorts of new ideas, i do not know where they are coming from, but i do believe that i will take a suggestion and open my mind to them, regardless of where they happen to originate. time to get ready to make my most unpleasant experience part of my day -- a visit to the dentis YIPPIE! NOT! however i know that this too shall pass.

∞ DT ∞