Blog entry for:

every different angle on my program i can find to meet the many challenges of living clean. so i am way behind where i wanted or better put planned to be at this time in this morning. i slept in and it felt great, i did some of my normal Sunday stuff, which was a bit more than usual, and i did some stuff to make to morrow morning go a bit quicker, needless to say, the morning is slipping away from me, and i still have to work out before i can hit the showers. oh yeah, one more thing before i get rolling:

Aaron F
5 years of doing this
one day at a time!
Congrats my friend
and KEEP COMING BACK

anyhow, i am prone to having a closed mind. over and over again, throughout active addiction and even in recovery, i missed some crucial piece of information, because i disregarded it at my own peril, and the results? well not hardly to my liking. just as i want to be further into my morning, i know today, i have not missed anything, YET! this morning is a result of doing the next right thing, for myself, for the people who trust me and guess what even for those who just pay my wages. this morning is all about listening to what is going on inside of me. i want to run for my workout, BUT i know that just the aerobic part is what i NEED to do, as i am recovering for my return to exercise after a very long vacation.
i seldom listen to what my body is telling me, and like my car, that can have painful and costly results, so how in the hell am i supposed to listen to what the rest of the world is telling me? one day at a time, one person at a time, on statement or question at at time, is HOW! the reading this morning is spot on, because just yesterday i was dissing another addict in recovery, because they just will not get off their butt and get moving. i get that as well, taking responsibility for how i feel and how i live is a BIG task, and one that feels quite daunting at times. i can spin the circumstances to make myself look like a victim in my own head, but in reality, i am a volunteer for most of my misery. in reality i am running late, because I CHOSE to sleep in, i CHOSE to do a bit of work from tomorrow, and i CHOOSE to get a workout in, all the while, precious seconds are tick, tick, ticking away. i KNOW, that this is just as it is supposed to be, and when i get there, i can see that right here and right now, it is IMPORTANT for me to be present and move forward. i also know that the phone calls i have been getting over the past few days are for me, NOT for the addict on the other end of the line. i NEEDED to talk about their feelings and remember what it felt like to be a newly minted addict in recovery.
today? well i choose recovery and as the day grinds on, i will make my choices to augment my decision. so it is off into the cool mourning for a workout with our little dawg too! it is a good day to remember that i never know where the information i NEED to stay clean will be coming from, so it is up to me to pay attention.

∞ DT ∞