โก i must open my mind to experience that works, no matter where it comes from โก
Posted: Fri, Feb 3, 2012 12:23:00 PM
IF i hope to continue to grow in my recovery.
well it is a day off for me, due to mechanical problems with my faithful car, and not because of the snow. as much as i wanted and perhaps needed a day off, i WOULD have gone to work this morning, IF my car could have got me to the bus stop. i do accept the gift, even though it is costing me some bucks, but i also procrastinated in getting something checked out and as a result, who knows what the consequence will end up being.
what, if anything does this have to opening my mind to new sources of information? well…
… i am not quite sure, i DO KNOW that the longer i stay clean the less certain i am about what i DO KNOW and the more certain i am that i NEED to learn from sources i once dismissed and disregarded. i can of course, pay lip service to this concept and go blithely on in an obtuse sort of manner, thinking that there is nothing else for me to learn. i DO SO at the peril of my life and well-being. i do march to the party line in this instance, it is our difference in experience that provide different insights into how this recovery gig works. as i grow into accepting step 11 more and more, i have come to realize that the POWER that fuels my recovery speaks to me through sources that i may not think are appropriate or even relevant. the newest newcomer or the frequent relapser, may be the one source that i need to hear, and if i stop welcoming them to the fellowship that is my home, I LOSE.
so there is certainly a self-serving motive behind this particular spiritual principle, i GET to stay clean by listening to differing points of view. i GET to grow by being open-minded and i GET to have this life only if i follow the suggestions. well the bad news is that no matter how well i took care of my car, something that was not due to be changed for another 25000 miles went out and the damage may mean a whole lot more than i want to pay. that will be something that has yet to be determined as well. i can move on and allow myself the freedom to be pissed off, for a minute than go get a car so i am mobile. life does have a few bumps in my road today.
well it is a day off for me, due to mechanical problems with my faithful car, and not because of the snow. as much as i wanted and perhaps needed a day off, i WOULD have gone to work this morning, IF my car could have got me to the bus stop. i do accept the gift, even though it is costing me some bucks, but i also procrastinated in getting something checked out and as a result, who knows what the consequence will end up being.
what, if anything does this have to opening my mind to new sources of information? well…
… i am not quite sure, i DO KNOW that the longer i stay clean the less certain i am about what i DO KNOW and the more certain i am that i NEED to learn from sources i once dismissed and disregarded. i can of course, pay lip service to this concept and go blithely on in an obtuse sort of manner, thinking that there is nothing else for me to learn. i DO SO at the peril of my life and well-being. i do march to the party line in this instance, it is our difference in experience that provide different insights into how this recovery gig works. as i grow into accepting step 11 more and more, i have come to realize that the POWER that fuels my recovery speaks to me through sources that i may not think are appropriate or even relevant. the newest newcomer or the frequent relapser, may be the one source that i need to hear, and if i stop welcoming them to the fellowship that is my home, I LOSE.
so there is certainly a self-serving motive behind this particular spiritual principle, i GET to stay clean by listening to differing points of view. i GET to grow by being open-minded and i GET to have this life only if i follow the suggestions. well the bad news is that no matter how well i took care of my car, something that was not due to be changed for another 25000 miles went out and the damage may mean a whole lot more than i want to pay. that will be something that has yet to be determined as well. i can move on and allow myself the freedom to be pissed off, for a minute than go get a car so i am mobile. life does have a few bumps in my road today.
∞ DT ∞