Blog entry for:

all of my peers. just to be clear changing the seed to first person singular took a bit of work this morning. **we need each other,** just does not transform into first person with very much sense or clarity, hence the entire transformation into something that bears little resemblance to the original, but still retains the flavor, more on that later. the reading spoke of needing the diversity of life as well as recovery experience, in the rooms, as well as in my personal program of recovery and there really is nothing to argue, nit pick or expand upon, in that notion. i get it, addiction makes me one of the crowd, no different than my peers, regardless of…

Aaron F,
congrats on EIGHT (8) years
of doing this gig, “just for today!”

as i sat this morning, the message of inclusion was rolling around in my head and my heart, and when i got up and started my day, i was quite certain that would be what i would be writing about. instead the events of this very young morning have taken me in a different direction. as i sat reading my mail, eating my oatmeal and perusing the news of the world i received a message on FaceBook from a friend and peer, who has been “around” recovery for over a decade. that friend asked the same question they always do, and i gave them the same answer i always do as well, get clean, get your a$$ to a meeting a day for the next 90 days, and start living a program. this friend is not a morning person, so for them to be up and running at this time of day, is probably the result of actions that i do not want to consider, i will leave it at that. whether or not they take my advice is not relevant to me, as i will stay clean and live an active program of recovery. i will not invest anything but HOPE into their process to make a decision where they want to go, as it really is not an investment i need or should want to make, right here and right now. that is far from immutable, but in the present tense it is the best path for me.
just as the seed of this reading had ti be bent, twisted and reshaped into something that was barely recognizable, so i have been by this program of recovery. it probably is no coincidence that when old friends come into my life, they only seem to do so once and then walk away. they recognize me, but once we sit down and start to talk, anything they thought they knew about me, save our past experience has been so changed that they are not very comfortable. one or two, have actually stuck, the rest, well that is once again not my problem. quite honestly, although i could hang with people who choose to use, i choose not to, just because they do not get what being an addict means to me.in fact, that is exactly what i would expect, life in recovery requires me to accept the fact that i am an addict, and choose to do something different. as a result of a few days making that choice, i am barely recognizable to those who knew my in my previous existence, it is sort of like a slow-blooming reincarnation of the man i once was, and the journey into becoming the man i could be.
my friend, well a commentary on their life as they were up and on FaceBook at 5:00 AM is not what i want to do this morning. for me, that is quite normal, as i am not only a morning person, but i like to ease into my morning and arrive at work by 730 AM. my day is far from complete, but my morning is. the program of recovery has transformed me from a person who, once upon a time would have only been awake at 5 AM had i not yet gone to sleep. today, i am grateful that the depth and breadth of my recovery is not limited by the superficial differences that my biases and prejudices create. today i can walk through that, and even offer HOPE to someone who may or may not be using, that there is a different way to live and i have found the path that works for me. time to roll this up, perform my morning ablutions and head on down to work.

∞ DT ∞