Blog entry for:

some believe that when they share in meetings, they should **remember the newcomer** and always try and carry a positive message. i am not one of those. i share for me, and try to wrap up even the most vilest puke with a bit of HOPE. yes, i know that is selfish and self-centered, but who really knows what is going on in the minds and hearts of our newest members. i will not say with any certainty that i know. what i can say, is my experience as best as i remember it, and when i was sitting in the rooms, back in my early days, my judgment to the best of my recollection about the **sunshine and light** shares, was what a bunch of bullsh!t. here i sit, about to embark on this way of living and all i get is smoke blown up my a$$!
yes my life is better in recovery than it was when i was using BUT all was not darkness in active addiction and everything is not light in recovery, and when i hear my worst day in recovery was better than my best day in active addiction i have to stop and pause. while that may be true for others, it is not true for me, i had some very good days when i was using and i have had some terribly dark days in recovery. the only thing that separates the two is how i judge those times from the comfort of this place in time. i do not, however have the time this morning to rail on and on about this. so instead i will succinctly sum up my argument by saying life happens. good, bad or indifferent, reality is reality and events occur that are far beyond my power to control. so my job is, to accpet that these events happen, decide whether or not io need to react to them, and move on. using will not help me deal with life, nor will ignoring these pitfalls. the HOPE is that i will use the tools available to me, and decide to live another day clean. with that it is time for me to fly, see you tomorrow.

∞ DT ∞